


Human for You

by Autumn_Froste, DrRJSB



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Broken Natasha Romanov, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Is a Good Bro, Brutasha/Brucenat/Hulkwidow, Canon Relationships, Depression, Developing Relationship, Domestic Avengers, F/M, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Go Away Tony, Heart-to-Heart, Interrogation, Kissing, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Oral Sex, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-The Incredible Hulk (2008), Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Bruce Banner, Protective Natasha Romanov, Requited Love, Romantic Fluff, breakdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 14:03:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15172277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Autumn_Froste/pseuds/Autumn_Froste, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrRJSB/pseuds/DrRJSB
Summary: Natasha Romanoff is tough and she's used to being many things for many people, but what happens when she just can't do it anymore? Who will help her find the part of her that's human again?





	Human for You

**Author's Note:**

> Yah, we did it again! This story is set between Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Avengers: Age of Ultron and is canon-compliant up to AoU with the exception of integrating some Agents of SHIELD characters. It does not fit into Special Needs, but it’s the same versions of Natasha and Bruce as you will find there and in our other collaboration, "Shovel, Meet Dirt." Many thanks to HarnGin for the Beta-Help!
> 
> Quoted Lyrics are from “Human” by Christina Perri and Martin Johnson, “Blue Moon” by Lorenz Hart and Richard Rogers, “Human” by Terry Lewis and James Harris, III, “You'd Be So Easy to Love” by Cole Porter, “Last Worthless Evening” by John Corey, Don Henley, and Stan Lynch, and “Taking You Home” by Don Henley, Stan Lynch, and Stuart Brawley. No harm is intended.

**Part 1**

_I can hold my breath_  
_I can bite my tongue_  
_I can stay awake for days_  
_If that's what you want_

“I hate these functions,” Steve said leaning closer to Nat’s ear as they danced. They made their way over to the bar and ordered drinks, which were efficiently delivered.

They walked back over to their table where Steve, ever the gentleman, held Natasha’s chair out for her, so she could settle into her seat. “ _You_ hate them? Imagine how I feel. Granted, I don’t agree with how the Motherland’s being run, but I still have to bite my tongue every time a stupid politician who thinks he knows something about the situation in Russia tries to make small talk with me. When it all boils down, most of these politicians are more like old school communists than they’d like to admit,” she noted.

Nat threw the rest of her tumbler of Belvedere back. “I think I broke one earlier when I asked if he’d ever been. He told me “no.” So I asked why I would believe his particular brand of rhetoric when I’d just visited Russia last Tuesday and knew all about the plight of the people whereas he was getting his information from Fox News, who are known to be blatant liars.”

Steve laughed, “Bet you he enjoyed that.”

Natasha grinned, “ _I_ did.”

Tony caught the tale end of their conversation as he walked up carrying two refill drinks for Steve and Nat. “Why have we never investigated Fox News as being part of Hydra? I mean they spill the same ridiculous pomposity for fear mongering.”

“Freedom of the press?” Steve asked.

“Yes, but how far does freedom of the press go when it makes people believe that the government is going to take away their rights just because some person, like say Ben Carson for example, who has no grasp of what’s going on in the political system itself, makes up some crap about the 2016 election not going to be held because of anarchy?”

“Sometimes you have to take the good with bad, Tony,” Steve said, not sure what to do with the tiny umbrella the billionaire barkeep had thrown in his fresh highball.

“Propaganda machines shouldn’t get to masquerade as legit news organizations,” Tony griped.

Natasha grinned, “Welcome to my world, gentlemen.” The former spy excused herself and walked back toward the bar. Before she could order another drink, a different teammate caught her eye. If she and Steve hated parties, their aversion paled in comparison to how much Bruce seemed to dislike most social functions. If it weren’t for the light reflecting off his glasses, she’d have completely missed him standing on the catwalk, watching the crowd below from the shadowy lookout. She grabbed another vodka and a drink for him before she headed up the steps.

Bruce wasn’t looking in her direction, but he spoke as she approached him. “You and Steve make a nice couple on the dance floor.”

“Thank you. You should have come down. I would have danced with you, too, Doc.”

The physicist turned and smiled at her as she joined him standing at the rail. “I’m a little out of practice.”

“I’d slow dance with you. You’re exactly the right height at the moment,” Nat teased. She handed him the glass, and he looked at her questioningly. She knew from observation that he didn’t drink much of anything with alcohol in it, and she knew why from SHIELD’s files. “Don’t you trust me, Doc?”

In answer, he saluted her with the glass and took a drink from the highball. “Ginger Beer,” he concluded.

“Some of the fancy Jamaican stuff Tony carries,” Nat said with a raised eyebrow that matched his expression.

“The good stuff,” Bruce decided after another sip. The redhead didn’t tell him she was the one who’d added it to the supply list when JARVIS told her Bruce had RSVPed that he’d attend the party. “By the way,” he asked, “where’s Clint? He’s usually the one I get to talk to up here.”

“Obligations, I imagine,” she said with a shrug. Nat couldn’t say Laura’s youngest sister was getting married in Iowa tomorrow. The music switched from contemporary over to some 1940s big band favorites Steve had put on the playlist.

 _Blue moon, you saw me standin' alone_  
_Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own_

Bruce offered to take her empty glass and placed it on a nearby tray with his. He turned back and looked at her, nervously pursing his lips, before he made up his mind and offered her his hand. “If you’re willing, may I have this dance?”

 _Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for_  
_You heard me sayin' a prayer for_  
_Someone I really could care for_

“I’d love to, Doc.” Natasha grinned and took his right hand. Bruce’s left hand slipped comfortably around her waist, and he proved to be surer and lighter on his feet than she’d imagined. He really was just the right height for her, and when she looked in his eyes, there was something there she hadn’t noticed before. “Where have you been hiding?” she asked as the song ended.

“Umm, in plain sight?” Bruce joked to deflect her. He suddenly looked very uncomfortable. “Thanks. I-I need to go. Early conference call in the morning. Good night,” he said and was gone before she could process what might have just happened.

 _We'd be so grand at the game_  
_So carefree together_  
_That it does seem a shame_  
_That you can't see_  
_Your future with me_  
_'Cause you'd be oh_  
_So easy to love_

 **Part 2**  

Two days later, they were all in the thick of a dangerous mission. Bruce looked around the room they’d just secured, “Where is she?” There had been no “Code Green,” so the physicist was running scans for lingering radiation from the weapons cache they’d been informed should be there.

Clint looked up from the body on the floor he was checking over, “The last time I saw her, she was heading toward the basement. Said Trebuchet was headed that direction and she was giving chase.”

Steve took off down the stairs that led to the basement followed by the others.

“God damn it,” Clint hissed as he reached into his TAC vest and pulled out a flashlight to better survey the scene below. One of Natasha’s gauntlets lay broken on the floor. A guard had one of her knives sticking out of his neck and a used spider bite was on the floor next to a doorway that led into a secret passageway that—surprise!—wasn’t on any of their building maps. _Shit!_

“Well, we do know she put up a helluva fight,” Bruce said looking around the debris-strewn room. Bookcases had been knocked over, desks overturned, a lamp cord had been used to strangle a thug while the lamp itself was broken. If the pieces of lamp and dust marks left on the baddie’s face were any indication, that's where the lamp itself had been broken.

Steve strained to pull open the escape hatch door that had been left ajar. The door was heavier than it looked. He thought about getting some extra muscle from the Big Guy and then thought better of it. The last thing they needed was Hulk crashing through the sub-basement or sewers. They’d all be safer if he kept Banner occupied above ground. “Bruce, see if you can figure out where they might be headed,” Steve ordered while he continued to struggle with the door. “Are there any pointers you can give us about this tunnel? Coulson should be here with the cleanup crew any time. Clint and I are going to follow this tunnel and see if we can find Nat. Also, Tony, see if you can use surveillance to find them on the outside.” With one loud grunt, Steve finally got the door open.

“Already on it. We haven’t got a clue, Cap. Be careful and bring her back safe. I’d hate to have to break in a new redhead for Pep to bond with,” Tony said.

Clint rolled his eyes. Bruce reached out and touched the archer on the arm, silently imploring him to find her. Clint nodded in understanding and checked his gear.

“Come on Barton, let’s bring our girl home,” Steve said as he disappeared down the tunnel with his teammate close behind.

~*~

“She’s been missing for days, Phil. Where the Hell could she be?” Steve asked frustratedly.

Bruce was standing at the table with two tablets and three screens open trying to find Natasha using JARVIS to hijack and coordinate everything from private security systems to social media and any other method he could think to use. It was pretty clear he hadn’t slept since the abduction.

Phil looked up from his laptop to see the sun shining behind Bruce. He was pacing again, waiting on data and wracking his big genius brain. Periodically, when the light was just right, Coulson felt like he could almost see Hulk’s shadow instead of the scientist’s. He hadn’t decided if it was his own imagination getting away from him or if the Big Guy really had some way of making his presence known.

Clint blamed himself because he thought he should have paid Natasha more attention during the fight. If he’d just turned and checked on her or moved a little quicker, would she still be here?

“I know you’re upset, guys. We’re all upset.” Phil rubbed his hands over his face and plopped down ungracefully in a chair next to the large table.

He’d hardly had time to settle before Agent Daisy Johnson ran into the conference room, “Hey, guys, May thinks she found her!”

**Part 3**

_Be your number one_  
_I can fake a smile_  
_I can force a laugh_  
_I can dance and play the part_  
_If that's what you ask_  
_Give you all I am_

Natasha awoke slowly. She didn’t want them to know she was awake yet. She listened to what was going on around her. Back at the warehouse, she’d fought with several of the mercs before they’d overpowered her and given her a shot of some sort of drug. In the days since Natasha had been here, she’d been beaten, but not harshly enough to break anything, just to bruise and bloody her in a few places. Strangely enough, she hadn't been asked any questions. The former spy had cuts and bruises all over her body. She’d been tasered and that made her whole body hurt. Her left eye was swollen, but she couldn’t decide how badly until she opened her eyes. Her head was throbbing. She was pretty sure she had a concussion, and she knew she had a small cut under her good eye. When Natasha finally did dare to open them and look around, albeit fuzzily for a few moments, the place reminded her of somewhere in Turkey where Barton and she had had an op when they’d first started working together. It’d gone to Hell. Nat almost laughed at the irony.

“Ah, you’re awake,” said a cold male voice with a vaguely Western European accent.

She located Trebuchet before she spoke. “What do you think is going to happen, Doctor Trebuchet?” Natasha asked very calmly. She was in the middle of the room, tied to a chair, which was chained to the floor. Maybe not the smartest things he could have done, but perhaps this way, she could at least get some information out of him. _Maybe_ , she thought.

“Honestly, I thought we could have a nice chat,” he said, dragging a chair in front of hers. He looked entirely nondescript, except for his well-tailored suit and his pale gray eyes that reminded her of used dishwater.

She smiled as best she could, “Really? About what?” Natasha decided it probably would have been a prettier smile had her face not felt like it was varying shades of black and blue. Oh _, well_ , she thought. _Can’t have everything_.

“I was hoping you could tell me more about this new SHIELD,” Trebuchet said.

“SHIELD is dead,” she answered flatly.

“I know you’re not stupid, so don’t act like it.” The doctor sounded a little irritated. He cupped her swollen cheek in his cool, manicured hand and purposely ran his thumb over her bruised left cheekbone, trying to get a reaction from her. Natasha made sure he didn’t get what he wanted.

“Why do you think SHIELD is still around?” she enquired. “I dumped the files on the Internet and Cap sank the Helicarriers into the Potomac.”

“Well, yes, that is true,” Trebuchet said thoughtfully. “But you know how one hears …   _things_.” He waved his hand around as he stood up and began walking around the room, pacing around her chair and even walking up and touching the walls with their brown stains and splatters. “Especially when agents who are supposed to be dead become directors of a _new_ SHIELD. Phil Coulson, for example.” Nat’s expression remained bored.

“So, here’s my question, Ms. Romanoff, what part do you play?” he asked as he stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders, fingers digging in a bit as if he could physically squeeze the information out of her. He smelled of hand soap and disinfectant: a germaphobe who still liked to touch things that didn’t belong to him.

Natasha tilted her head slightly, trying to look at him. “Doctor,” she paused, waiting for him to walk around in front of her. He slowly walked around her and sat back in his chair with his hands in his lap. She shook her head slightly, “Doctor … Doctor … Doctor. I’m Black Widow. Think about it.” She tilted her head back the other way. “I play whatever part is required of me. Right now my part is simple. I’m an Avenger. I’m training others to handle combat and espionage. It’s not like there’s a newsletter announcing the latest resurrection of an undercover operation I helped destroy. If there is, I’m certainly not on their mailing list.”

“No Christmas cards, hmm? That must be a very hard life,” he said sounding oddly sympathetic and gloomy like he didn’t get much personal mail himself.

She shrugged, “It’s all I’ve ever known.”

 _I can do it_  
_I can do it_  
_I can do it_

He stood up and took off his jacket, placing it on the back of his chair and pushing up the sleeves of his dark turtleneck. He continued to pace, wandering from one side of the room to the other. When he was behind her he asked, “But all those horrible things you did …?”

“You’ll have to be more specific,” Natasha instructed dryly.

“I mean, I understand why you did what you did for the KGB. You were working for them, and you were brainwashed, yes?” Trebuchet asked. Natasha nodded. “But when you went to SHIELD, you went through all of that deprogramming. It was supposed to be your way out from the brainwashing. Though I have to say that I’m impressed with the strides you made breaking your programming on your own. That’s very admirable. It says a lot about your character.”

Natasha crooked her head slightly, “I’m sorry, was there a question in there?” she asked politely.

“Oh, I apologize. I wasn’t being clear enough for you. Just how do you live with yourself knowing that all you did was change from the KGB, which was basically run by HYDRA to HYDRA pretending to be SHIELD? After all that programming they did to you, do you still feel _human_?” Dr. Trebuchet was getting louder and louder as he framed his questions. “You remember that hospital fire? The one with all the casualties? What was it? Seventy-eight dead and twenty-six of those were children? How do you sleep without hearing their screams? Is that why you choose to physically and mentally exhaust yourself with the constant training? That’s quite brilliant of you. Bravo! Getting enough sleep is very important for good mental health.” He didn’t sound like he got much sleep himself.

Natasha was beginning to lose some of her resolve. He was beginning to look like some sort of caricature of a spider as he waved his arms; frankly, the doctor was getting down right tiresome.

“All those horrors. Are you even human now, or has all this state-sponsored terrorism made you something less than that? How about everything that was done to you? They clearly didn’t see you as human. They wanted to make you into a killing machine that didn’t question, didn’t feel remorse. But it didn’t work, did it?!” he said leaning in close to her face. “You’re still human. You still feel guilt, don’t you? But that’s the pity of it! Will you ever be able to make up for everything that you’ve done? How about _your_ victims? Your friends? I can’t even imagine what you’ve put them through just by being Black Widow. How will you ever be able to make that up? What a sad hole these bastards have left you in with no way out.” 

 _But I'm only human_  
_And I bleed when I fall down_  
_I'm only human_  
_And I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_'Cause I'm only human, yeah_

Natasha had been struggling with the ropes around her wrists the entire time he was monologuing and asking her questions, but she was doing it so unobtrusively that unless he’d been actively watching her hands, he never would have known what to look for. Her wrists had begun to chafe and turned bloody because she had lost some of her objectivity and begun struggling to free herself by the end of his rant.

Finally, she was free just as he’d turned his back and blocked the guards’ view of the cell. Within seconds she grabbed him and pulled him to her, covering his diarrhetic mouth with her left hand as she jerked his right wrist to the center of his back, kicking the back of his knee forcing him to lose his balance and land on his knees. She left a swipe of blood on his dark shirt as she pulled the gun out of its hidden holster in his jacket as she subdued him. Shooting with her left hand, Natasha took out the three guards that were stationed outside the door as they tried to rush into the cell. Amatures.

Nat yanked his head back by his mousy brown hair, so he could see her clearly, and stared at the doctor with venom in her eyes. “I don’t need a way out, Doctor. I make my own. Since you seem so fucking interested, YES, I’m still only human.”

As she was considering cold-cocking the man, the outside wall exploded inward to reveal Iron Man followed by Steve and Clint.

“We were coming to save you, but as usual, you look like you have it in hand,” Tony said, sounding proud of her but disappointed they wouldn’t get to deliver some rough justice.

“Take this,” Nat shoved the doctor toward Steve, kicking him to the floor, “and get it out of my sight.”

Clint took the gun she offered him and set her back down in the chair before her legs gave out. Yeah, she was still only human ... Right?

**Part 4**

_I can turn it on_  
_Be a good machine_  
_I can hold the weight of worlds_  
_If that's what you need_  
_Be your everything_  
_I can do it_  
_I can do it_  
_I'll get through it_

“I can definitely say you look like you feel better,” Steve smiled as he walked up to Nat and brushed part of her damp hair out of her face. “I don’t know what we’d do without our best girl on the team.”

Nat smiled as he handed her a bottle of water. “Woman,” she corrected.

“My bad,” he admonished himself.

She was in a comfy pair of silk pajama shorts and a tank top. Her hair was still wet from her shower and was beginning to curl. The bruising on her face and arms were more evident with a shower, but she was a lot cleaner and looked a lot happier. Bruce had already looked her over and said that her obvious wounds were for the most part superficial. He had bandaged the cuts and given her cold packs. While she was going to be sore for a bit, so far, nothing was infected, and she should be okay.

“I feel better, too. It’s amazing, the restorative powers of a shower after not having one for almost a week. I don’t even want to think about how lovely I smelled.” Natasha gazed around at her team. They looked like they all needed reassuring she wasn’t going anywhere, and they needed cheering up worse than she did. _I can do it. I’ll get through it_ , she repeated the lyrics like a mantra. Bruce was the one who continued to look at her skeptically.

“At least you said it. I didn’t,” Clint admitted with a chuckle. “Besides you always smell like sunshine and flowers to me.” He sat down next to her and wrapped his arms carefully around her and gave her a hug between the contusions. “You scared the Hell outta me,” he whispered in her ear. “Don’t you ever do it again.”

She smiled, “’Cause you never scare me?” She squeezed him back. He kissed her on the forehead and furrowed his brow. Something wasn’t right. She was being too amenable, but he wasn’t sure how to get her to be honest about how she was feeling.

Bruce walked over and sat on the other side of her on the couch. He gently hugged her after Clint let go. “He’s right, you know; you did scare us. The Big Guy does _not_ like you being gone.” Bruce didn’t say how worried he’d been, but she noticed the dark circles under his eyes, and she could feel he hadn’t completely let go of that humming, anxious tension she’d noticed as he’d mapped out her every injury during his examination. He’d relaxed a bit when she’d reassured him she’d not been sexually assaulted, but, for once, he hadn’t joked in his best DeForest Kelley impression that he wasn’t that kind of doctor.

She pulled herself back into the moment. “The next time I want something ridiculous in the middle of the night, I want you guys to remember this feeling right here, right now.” Tasha smiled. She almost felt back to normal.

~*~

A few weeks later, after Natasha’s exterior wounds were healed, everything looked fine on the outside. She was back in the field Avenging with a passion. She was whatever anyone needed her to be right then. She was everyone’s listener and advisor. She strategized with Steve about how to best infiltrate a terrorist stronghold. She needled Tony to keep him focused during the fight. She kept the Big Guy calm after the smashing was done. She wise-cracked with Clint during the trip back to base to keep his spirits up. This time, Bruce was the only one who noticed something was off. He smiled when she tried to joke with him, but she could tell he wasn’t buying her act. She didn’t sleep well, when she slept at all. She kept right on going, though, just like a well-oiled machine on autopilot. 

**Part 5**

_But I'm only human_  
_And I bleed when I fall down_  
_I'm only human_  
_And I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_'Cause I'm only human, yeah_  
_I'm only human_  
_I'm only human_  
_Just a little human_  
_I can take so much_  
_Until I've had enough_

A few weeks later it was storming so hard one would’ve thought Thor was back in NYC and raging against Loki. The rain was coming down in buckets, and the thunder boomed. By 11:00 pm, the lightning was so fierce, Bruce didn’t bother turning on any lights in the Commons Area after he exited the elevator from the lab. As he walked toward the kitchen, movement caught his eye outside the window on the helipad. He hurried back around the corner toward the sliding doors, and he saw Nat laying down outside in the storm. She had her knees tucked up under her body. Her hair was matted to her face, and she was soaking wet. Bruce ran outside to see what was the matter. The woman looked almost catatonic.

He bent down and stroked her face as he called her name over the pounding deluge, “Natasha!” She gave no response. “Natasha!” he called a little louder between thunder claps. Bruce quickly picked her up and brought her inside. They were both soaked to the bone. He sat down with her on the tile beside the door, letting them both slide down against the wall. His heart was pounding. She’d been so close to the edge.

 _I see you around sometimes_  
_And my heart just melts_  
_You're lookin' like if you had your wish_  
_You'd be somewhere else_  
_And it just breaks my heart_  
_To see you here this way_

Natasha opened her eyes and leaned on his shoulder, tears running down her face and mixing with the rain. He wasn’t sure what to do in this position. He wasn’t used to holding a crying assassin, much less a crying assassin who normally didn’t cry and might not be overly fond of being touched while in this condition.

She seemed cold, so Bruce wrapped his arms around her. “Nat. Natasha, what’s wrong? What can I do to fix it? Does Hulk need to go kick someone’s ass?” Even to his ears, he knew it sounded stupid considering she could do her own ass-kicking, but he was at a loss for what to say or do.

“I…,” she trailed off, taking a breath and still crying. He hugged her a little closer, and she buried her face in his neck and sobbed. They sat like that for several minutes with him doing his best just to quiet her down and sooth her once the tears were all out.

“Natasha, let me help. I can’t help if you won’t tell me what’s wrong,” Bruce finally pleaded.

Nat stared up in his sincere chocolate-brown eyes. “I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” she whispered.

“Do what, Nat? Was someone mean to you or inappropriate? Let me know whom, so I can take care of it. We’ll straighten the jerk out.” Bruce rubbed her back, unable to imagine who was dumb enough to hurt her. Hulk was already gearing up to pound someone. Probably not a good idea, but Bruce still didn’t have much data to work with.

 _It just breaks my heart_  
_To see you here this way_  
_Someday I'll get the nerve_  
_To walk up to you and say_  
_This is the last worthless evening_  
_That you'll have to spend_  
_Just gimme a chance_

“You’re so sweet, but no one here has hurt me. It’s just everything is too much.” She took a stuttering breath. Bruce had never seen her look more lost. “I can’t keep being perfect for everyone.”

Bruce leaned back enough to look her in the eye, so that’s what was wrong. “Of course not, Natasha. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re only human.”

Natasha struggled out of his arms and pushed away from him as if she’d been burned. She scrambled back all the way to the equipment room door. Bruce held his hands up in alarm. He had no idea what he’d done. “You think that I’m _human_? Do you really?” Her voice got higher and louder and then died off into a sob. She sniffled and squeezed her eyes shut, curling up into a fetal position again.

Bruce dug his phone out of his wet clothing to text for help before he remembered they were all alone in the upper floors of the tower. JARVIS and Dum-E were his only backups short of calling in people from outside. Nat was such a private person that he immediately rejected the idea.

“You’ve read my file. Do you really believe that I qualify as a person after every horrible thing I’ve done? Everything I’ve put everyone else through who is out there?” She pointed outside. She looked at the floor and then met Bruce’s eyes. She took a stuttered breath and whispered, “After everything that was done to me? How could you possibly call _me_ ‘human’?”

She said it so quietly Bruce almost missed it. He edged closer and stared at her as the raindrops slid down over her perfect skin and dripped from her eyelashes. If one didn’t know better, they’d never think anything was wrong because she hid all of this so well. But he of all people knew exactly what she meant since he’d felt that way about himself for a long time.

**Part 6**

_Come on, baby, dry your eyes_  
_Wipe your tears_  
_Never liked to see you cry_  
_Won't you please forgive me_  
_I wouldn't ever try to hurt you_

Dum-E brought down several towels and some sweats, which he dumped unceremoniously on the floor, just missing the largest puddles of water. “And you were doing so well,” Bruce scolded the machine. The robot picked up a towel and handed it to Bruce who wrapped it around Nat and tried to help dry her off. “Here,” he said as he handed Natasha some dry clothes. “It’s just some Stark Industry wear. I have a drawer full of it.” She nodded and took it from him. She seemed to be doing well enough now to take care of dressing herself, so Bruce stepped modestly around the corner and took his soaked shirt and pants off. They made a “slop” sound when they hit the tile floor and his socks and boxers soon joined them. He dried off as best he could and pulled on a pair of sweats and dry socks. “Need help?” he asked her.

“I’m good,” Nat mumbled quietly. She looked like a damp ragamuffin shivering in his clothes, but she let him take her hand and lead her to the couch.

“Trust me, I run hot. I’ll have you warmed up before you know it.” He piled some pillows at one end and spread a towel down first, placed one leg on the cushions, and then settled her gently into his lap, so she could lay back on him. She surprised him by turning toward him and hugging his torso. Bruce took the last oversized towel and threw it over her, tucking it around her like a blanket. He draped his arms around her. “Better?” he asked.

“Warmer,” she mumbled. “That’s almost the same thing. You are pretty hot, Doc.”

“Uh, thanks,” he stammered. Nat didn’t even have to look to know he was blushing. She almost wished she had enough energy to flirt because he was so cute to tease. It took him a minute to get his thoughts back together. “You know, Nat, you do such a wonderful job watching out for everyone else. Please let me take care of you for a bit. Is that okay with you?”

She let out a heavy sigh. Боже, he meant well. “Sure. I mean, that’s really nice of you, Bruce.”

“My pleasure. Let’s just work on being warm first. We can do tea or maybe cocoa a bit later.” He didn’t want to pressure her about talking yet, but he hoped she’d come around. Bruce knew from observation Nat hadn’t been sleeping well for some time, so he quietly lay there with the sound of the rain outside and her ragged breathing that eventually smoothed out. His hands were on her back, and he could feel the tension slowly ebb out of her. She finally dozed off, and he let her sleep since he knew she was exhausted.

Contrary to what Natasha thought, he’d not been through her files though he’d heard enough to guess what was upsetting her. He’d read briefings on what SHIELD had done, but aside from that, Bruce felt a person’s past was all on a need-to-know basis for him. He wondered if she knew much about him or what wasn’t in his files. They were both very private people, and they had other things in common as well—rough childhoods, being abused by the powers above them and then weaponized and used as tools. He once saw Hulk as the monster, raging out of control, full of chaos and emotions, while he was the intellect, cool and dispassionate and under control. No one could touch or hurt him ... not again. How wrong he’d been. The Hulk got his rage from somewhere, and Bruce had gone through therapists, yogis, and senseis before he’d finally come to terms with that. He and the Big Guy weren’t always of one mind, but at least they had quit the dualistic bullshit and reached a bit of detente.

 _I'm only human_  
_Born to make mistakes_  
_I'm only human_  
_Of flesh and blood I’m made_

**Part 7**

It was early in the morning before Natasha stirred. Bruce had nodded off after two, but he slept lightly and felt the change in her breathing. “I know you’re playing ’possum. Are you hungry yet? I still owe you some cocoa or tea or, maybe, it’s coffee now.”

Nat pushed herself up and blinked her eyes open. She didn’t want to move. For the first time in a long time, she felt safe and protected. “Coffee sounds really good. Eggs?”

“Yes. Toast?” he asked and she nodded. “Why don’t you go clean up and I’ll get things started here?”

“Deal,” she said, sounding tired, but better than before. She pulled off the towel and carefully extricated herself from on top of him.

“Scrambled, over easy, or sunny side up?” Bruce asked as he sat up, stretched, and located his glasses.

“Sunny side up if you can managed not to break the yolk,” she challenged him, sounding more like herself as she got on the elevator.

He started the coffee, picked up the towels and wet things Dum-E had missed, and cleaned himself up a bit in the Commons Area bathroom. There were no razors, but at least there were disposable toothbrushes. He’d asked JARVIS to keep tabs on Nat, but Bruce had only just managed to deliver the first two sunny-side-up eggs on a plate for her when she returned. She’d kept on his sweatshirt, but switched over to some yoga pants. Her hair was still damp from the shower. “Toast is on the counter, and the coffee is in the pot,” he said as he handed her the plate with her eggs.

Nat buttered the toast and waited for him as she perched on a stool at the counter, sipping her black coffee. “You do domestic really well,” she observed.

“I prefer domestic most of the time. Industrial is pretty overrated and too cold.”

“Not foreign or free-range?”

“I’ve lived a lot of places, so ‘foreign’ doesn’t seem all that strange to me.” Bruce slid three eggs onto his plate and turned off the gas burner. He grabbed his coffee mug and sat down across from her. “I’m pretty eclectic, and truthfully, I’m all for free-ranging.”

“I wish I could say that. Everything seems strange right now. It’s all disconnected and out of tune. Lots of shiny chrome and moving parts, but . . . I can’t keep it going anymore. I guess I’m down to deconstruction.”

Bruce took the pieces of buttered toast from the plate she offered him. “The thing about deconstruction is it breaks us down into our separate elements or components so that they can be savored separately. They can then be restructured in a new way or just reassembled as before with a new appreciation for the whole.” Their eyes met as they looked at each other over the brims of their coffee mugs. He was a little afraid he’d sounded like a jackass when what he wanted to do was get her to talk so she’d feel better.

“Please don’t ask me to eat my toast, butter, and eggs separately,” Natasha snorted as she mopped up the yolk with her last piece of crust.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he said. Bruce gritted his teeth and took a deep breath, “Nat, what happened while that Trebuchet guy had you? You’ve been putting on a brave face, but something has had you rattled since you came back.”

 _I'm only human_  
_And I crash and I break down_  
_Your words in my head, knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_'Cause I'm only human, yeah_

She got up and poured herself another cup of coffee and refreshed his. “Captain Catapult was mostly trying to mess with my head, but the more I thought about it, he pretty much nailed how I’m feeling,” she shrugged one shoulder up, “and maybe how you guys must feel about me.”

“How’s that?” Bruce asked, not sure he liked where this was going.

“Look, I can’t sit around here pretending. I don’t even feel human anymore. I stopped acting human when I was twelve. Now, I’m this genetically engineered disaster that can’t be fixed.”

Bruce shook his head, “Those are different things. Your humanity isn’t just the experiences that went into making you. You’re more than your training, Natasha.” He tried to think how to explain his thoughts better. “Look, you’re not a disaster, take it from someone who lives on a very short fuse. Every day when I get up, I look in the mirror and wonder what horrors the day might bring. What kind of a monster might I have to be today?” He looked vulnerable, but also determined, as he continued, “We both have that potential to cause chaos that will harm people, but I know you’ve not quit caring, Nat. I understand the ‘red in the ledger.’ Others tried to make us mindless killing machines, but we’re not. We have a choice. We’re better people than what they tried to make us.”

 _I'm only human_  
_I'm only human_  
_Just a little human_  
_I can take so much_  
_Until I've had enough_

She nodded, considering his words. She’d seen him soldier on when he could have left the field. He knew what it was like to feel this low. “Bruce, it’s like I have two personalities: the one that sticks a smile on her face and contorts herself to please everyone to perfection and the one who just wants the whole world to burn. It … it just scares me because sometimes I don’t feel anything.”

He reached across the counter and lay his hand on hers for a moment, but he removed it when she pulled away. _Shit_. He wondered if she understood that he did feel a connection, or if he’d just screwed up everything they already had by literally and figuratively overreaching. “Sorry, I-I get that completely. It’s like a mask you hide behind so you don’t disappoint people. You feel accepted when they can use your talents, but some days you would just as soon let the other part out. Yet, if you did that, they wouldn’t want you around anymore.” He hugged his middle, “You can only reach out so many times before you just give up because no one can accept both sides of you. You want to find a middle ground for the real you to exist . . . if there is one.” Yeah, he kind of meant that both ways.

 _I'm only human_  
_Of flesh and blood I’m made_  
_I’m only human_  
_Born to make mistakes_

Nat looked at him, but didn’t say anything for a few minutes, losing herself in thought. She finished her coffee and watched him awkwardly move his food around on his plate. She wanted him to understand, for them to connect, but she didn’t know if she could let anyone inside her guard. He looked so … uncomfortable. Maybe he didn’t want to know all of her after all? “But even you’re scared of me, Bruce!” she blurted. “Do you know how that makes me feel?” She covered her face with her hands. “I … I can’t do this anymore. That stupid Trebuchet was right. I’m just a killing machine with no hope to ever make up for what I’ve done.” She nearly jumped when Bruce wiped away the tear falling down her cheek. She hadn’t realized he’d gotten up and was standing next to her, gently touching her shoulder, his face full of concern and something more.

 _This is the last worthless evening_  
_That you'll have to spend_  
_Just gimme a chance_  
_To show you how to love again_

“Natasha, it’s not that I’m scared of you, either half of you, because I know some of what’s making you question yourself. Please believe me, I respect you, and I don’t want to screw up our friendship and our work relationship. What I’m scared of is ruining everything if you don’t feel the same way. The trust has to go both ways.”

She swiveled on the barstool, so they were squared up. He searched her face before settling his gaze on her eyes. “Show me, Bruce. Show me how you feel.”

He moved back slightly. “Only if you’re sure because there’s no going back once this line is crossed. I’ll only do this if it’s for keeps, Nat. I don’t care how messy our lives are. I don’t want something that’s just convenient. I don’t want to be ‘friends with benefits.’ I need more. We’re both worth more.”

 _So many nights I longed to hold you_  
_So many times I looked and saw your face_  
_Nothing could change the way I feel_  
_No one else could ever take your place_

“Damn you, Bruce.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, so he had to step closer. “Damn you for making me feel like this, like I can trust you, like there’s something here we need to explore. I want to believe there is a middle ground, and we can help each other find it.”

He nodded and placed his hands on her shoulders. “I’m not giving up on you. We’ve both been through so much shit. We’re connected in so many ways. I think we’d do better looking for it together than apart.”

“Then show me,” she breathed, not quite daring to hope he’d welcome all of her.

Bruce wasn’t sure if she was pleading with him or daring him, but it didn’t really matter as he reached up and cradled her head with his hands and kissed her mouth gently, coaxing her to take a risk like he was. Natasha knew Bruce was right, they both had learned how to survive and live through the worst of storms. The part of her that had gone dormant and emotionless sensed the sun had finally come back, and she felt the same way he did. This would be worth the risks. They could build something on that trust going forward together. 

 _And then there suddenly appeared before me_  
_The only one my arms will hold_  
_I heard somebody whisper "please adore me"_  
_And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold_

His lips were warm and steady, but his ragged breathing gave his passion away. Natasha leaned in more and matched him, turning her head as he angled his. She pressed closer, pulling him closer to stand between her knees and running her hands over his back. He had the right amounts of softness and strength in his kisses that she liked as they negotiated back and forth exploring each other. After a long, enjoyable minute, Bruce pulled back to look at her. “Is this okay?” he asked, stroking her cheek gently with his thumb. “Do you want to go further? I don’t want to rush you.”

“More,” she whispered fiercely and kissed him again, feeling the excitement he was radiating sink into her and then carry her to places she hadn’t been in a long time and into new feelings that caught fire. Bruce moved his hands down to her hips, giving her firm caresses before reaching further around her back. Natasha placed her hands on his shoulders then she finally gave in and buried her fingers in his hair. She’d wanted to do that pretty much every day since they’d met, but she hadn’t dared to touch him like this before.

 _You'd be so easy to love_  
_So easy to idolize_  
_All others above  
__So worth the yearning for_  
_So swell to keep every home fire burning for_

She loved that Bruce didn’t overwhelm her like a conquering force nor underwhelm her with passivity. Instead, their kissing was a dance that he led Natasha through until she was comfortable with him, and then she quickened the pace to see if he could keep up. As the redhead got more aggressive, he opened up to her, letting her lips and tongue test him. He matched her moves until she started nipping at his lips and neck before they broke off.

They were breathing heavily as they looked at each other, and then they both smiled and laughed like they were in on the same joke. “Wow,” he said in a voice that sounded deeper than normal to her. “I think that makes up for some of the wait.”

“Now, I kind of wish we hadn’t though,” she said as she stroked the curls at the back of his neck.

“We’ll make up for it,” he reassured her. Bruce searched her face and decided to be bold again. “Would it be okay if we went to my apartment? I promise I’m not a slob, and the bed is worth it.”

 _We'd be so grand at the game_  
_Please tell me that you feel the same_

Natasha chuckled, “Well, now I have to see it.” She’d not been past his living room and the open kitchen, which she remembered were both clean and functional with several plants and an entire wall of books, which she’d not even gotten half perused over her three visits.   

Bruce bit his lower lip, pleased she’d agreed to come. “I hope you’ll want to do more than just see it.” He was also a little relieved since he’d feel more comfortable on his home turf. She slid off the barstool and took him by the hand. No one else seemed to be around yet on a Saturday, so they quickly took the elevator to the right floor. They’d held hands and she behaved herself, well aware of the surveillance, until he’d tapped in the code to his door.

**Part 8**

Natasha surprised him by running her hands up under his sweatshirt as soon as the door closed. “Careful!” Bruce laughed backing away. “I’m really ticklish!”

“I knew it!” she teased. “Take it off for me then.”

“I ... I ... Okay.” He pulled the SI sweatshirt off over his head, despite the glasses, and she placed her hand on his chest and pushed him a step back so he was against the door. “Got me where you want me, Natasha?” he asked wryly as he kept himself as calm as he could under the circumstances.

Nat ran her hands over his chest, enjoying the way he was getting flustered. “Only for the moment. I really want to see you in the bedroom.”

“Play your cards right,” he said and bit his lower lip again. He was so glad she was coming out of her funk, and part of him couldn’t believe they were here and ready to do something more than flirt. “I might even make you a second breakfast and serve it in bed.”

“Maybe we should be working up an appetite then,” she said with a quirk in her smile. The redhead ran her fingers through his chest hair and along his collar bones and stopped as she squeezed his deltoids and biceps with appreciation. “Looks like someone’s been spending time in the weight room.”

“A little. I think I’m up for a workout if you are,” he responded with a grin, hoping it didn’t sound too cheesy. Natasha smiled, stepped back, and pulled her borrowed sweatshirt up slowly. Judging by the hitch in his breathing, she definitely had his attention as she turned so her back was to him while she slipped the top over her head and dropped it to the entryway floor where it joined his. She stepped back and leaned into him as gracefully as the dancer she was. Nat felt his radiating warmth and then his skin on hers as their bodies met. He followed the line of her shoulders and traced her arms upward with his hands as she stretched and wove their fingers together. Bruce breathed lightly on her neck, under control again, and she tilted her head to the left so he could kiss her. She moaned with pleasure when he applied some pressure and grazed her with his teeth. Natasha guided his hands down to her bare chest.

 _Blue moon, you saw me standin' alone_  
_Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own_  
_Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for_  
_You heard me sayin' a prayer for_  
_Someone I really could care for_  

It was his turn to sigh as he gently cupped and massaged her breasts. “How lovely,” he whispered, and she arched her back, reaching her right hand up to thread her fingers through his curls. His thumbs played with her nipples, coaxing them to stiffness then relaxing them with the warmth of his palms. _What a tease_ , she thought, but two could play at that. Natasha pressed her backside into him, and Bruce couldn’t keep himself from responding in kind and then rolling his hips into her. “Oh my! You feel so good, Natasha. Maybe we should . . .”

“I think we’re both ready to see that bedroom now,” Natasha suggested.

“Yes,” he said eagerly. He was still under control, but he needed to slow down and address a few issues. She turned around and he could finally get a look at her bare to the waist. “You are so gorgeous, Natasha.” He ran his hands down her arms and held her hands.

She didn’t mind that he looked—he had to be curious—but what she really liked was that he consistently made eye contact when he spoke to her. “You’re okay with the scars?”

“I felt a couple, but I don’t see any. Why?”

“Nothing. I was just worried that I look like a patched-up mess.”

“No. Really? To be honest, I like touching them if that doesn’t sound too, um, creepy. Sorry, that kind of came out weird.” He fumbled with his glasses. “I mean, they have stories, and I’m interested in those because they are a part of you. Does that make sense?” He was starting to blush and she loved that.

“Yes, it does. You’ve patched me up a few times, so you already know about several. Frankly, I’m even fine if you do have a kink or two, Bruce. Everyone does.”

He nodded. “Good. I-I guess I do. Maybe it’s because I don’t scar much anymore since, you know, Hulking out kind of heals everything and wipes the slate mostly clean.” He rubbed the back of his neck. He hoped she didn’t think he was that weird on top of all the complications from his “condition.” Well, this could make or break things, but she’d need to know, so she could make an informed decision. “Let me show you the bedroom. There are a couple of things we need to discuss before we go much further.” He scooped up the two sweatshirts from the floor and took her hand before guiding her down a short hallway off the living room.

 **Part 9**  

It was just past sunrise and the light was spilling into the apartment through the eastern windows in the living room and also in what turned out to be a master suite. The door was open so she walked in. “I hope you like it.” Bruce also hoped she’d feel comfortable here. The other rooms were big with high ceilings, but her old dormer on the Helicarrier and her cozy bedroom two floors below could have both fit into just the bedroom section. He wasn’t kidding about the bed. It was _BIG_. She liked that it was done in an Arts and Crafts style like the rest of the suite’s furnishings, but as she touched the frame, Natasha could tell it wasn’t wood. “Carbon fibers with a titanium core,” Bruce explained. “Tony insisted. Otherwise, I would have gone with a futon on a platform, but he kind of got into the challenge of making something Hulk wouldn’t casually break.”

Everything was blues, tans, golds, and off whites with a lot of textures in the fabrics Natasha noted. She was pretty sure the flooring under the rugs was some kind of bamboo hardwood. The redhead leveraged her ballerina flats off with her toes and stepped on the biggest area rug, enjoying the feel of it. “Did he pick out the linens, too?” she teased.

“No. God, no!” Bruce laughed, taking off his shoes as well and placing his glasses on a dresser. “They’re a silk and hemp blend I hunted down and had custom made because of the size and strength. I mean, none of it’s Hulk-proof, just resistant up to a point.” She nodded as she continued to walk around the room. There was a large comfortable chair with a pile of books and journals beside it. Now, that definitely looked more like him, she decided. Then it occurred to her this was the same color palate he used when he picked out most of his day-to-day clothing, minus the white lab coat.

Natasha smiled to herself as she looked at a framed photo on top of his bureau. Bruce thought she looked breathtaking with only her yoga pants on and her hair loose in the morning sunlight as she approached the window to get a clearer look at the photograph. There was a young woman with dark wavy hair and a toddler in her lap smiling at each other. “Is this you?”

“Yeah, I was about two. That’s my mother.” Bruce tossed the sweatshirts into a clothes hamper behind the door.

“She’s beautiful, Bruce,” Natasha said and glanced back at him, comparing their faces. “You certainly have her eyes.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I still miss her.” He didn’t want to say more at the moment, and Nat didn’t push him. She remembered his file all too well. When he was ready, they’d have a talk because she did want to know more. She replaced the photo on the bureau. “Did you know your parents?” he asked.

“Barely, I was really young. I remember my бабушка better,” she said with a wistful smile.

He stepped closer, took her hands in his, and kissed them. “Something else we have in common. Are you okay?”

 _I know your heart's still on the shelf_  
_It's been years for me_  
_And I'm still not quite myself_

Truthfully, she was feeling better, and it was nice to be making connections with him on a deeper level like this. He really did trust her and that meant everything to her. “We are survivors, Bruce. It’s part of who we are and they’re part of us.”

“The good parts.” He smiled and she leaned in and pulled him down into a kiss. His hands went to her hips and suddenly her arms were around his neck and her legs were wrapped around his waist. Bruce stepped back to keep his balance and quickly adjusted to support her thighs with his forearms. They giggled and kissed again.

**Part 10**

She had her breasts pressed tight against him. He ached to touch her again, but first things first. “How about we try out the bed?” he suggested and backed up to it, letting her weight take him into a backward sprawl in the middle. They rolled over onto their sides, still being a little silly. Then of a sudden, they were staring at each other up close, green eyes looking into brown, and she saw the longing there.

 _And then there suddenly appeared before me_  
_The only one my arms will hold_  
_I heard somebody whisper "please adore me"_  
_And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold_

Natasha drummed her fingers on the firm surface of the bed. “Has it been ‘christened’?” she asked. That confused him for a moment as he came to himself.

“Oh, the bed. No. Not with anyone if that’s what you mean,” Bruce noted candidly. “It’s just been safer that way since it’s taken a while for me to figure out the ‘new normal’ because it’s taken time to stabilize.” Natasha smiled, imagining what that must have been like. He chuckled, “I know. It is kind of funny in hindsight, but it’s a miserable way to live. There hasn’t been anyone I was interested in trying it with ’til now,” his voice trailed off and he looked at her sincerely.

She ran her hand over the side of his face. “Well, you don’t have to be a hermit alone in your cave, comfortable as it is, not anymore.”

 _Blue moon, now I'm no longer alone_  
_Without a dream in my heart_  
_Without a love of my own_

Bruce smiled at her gratefully. He didn’t want to sound like a stalker or a love-sick teenager, but she was why he’d come back from India and also a large part of why he’d chosen to stay at the tower after the Battle of New York. Yes, he knew he was being manipulated by Fury through her, but the truth was, they were all after something. He didn’t mind it if he could get beneath the agendas and layers of motives and find the real Natasha he knew was there, the one who was touching him right now.

“I still need to explain some things to you, so you understand what you’re getting into with me ... well, us, since Hulk is mixed in here, too.” She nodded, so he continued. “As you know, I have fairly consistent control over transformations; luckily, that carries through to the bedroom, so we should be okay during sex. If we go slowly, there shouldn’t be a problem, but we’re going to use a condom for safety’s sake. That’s not up for negotiations,” he said firmly.

Natasha agreed, “I expected something like that, Bruce. It’s not a problem. We’ll work this though.” She took his free hand and laced her fingers through his. That got a relieved smile out of him and she continue to hold it.

So far, so good then. He continued, “JARVIS routinely monitors me for radiation spikes, but just in case, I developed a very effective anti-radiation formula if it’s needed. Above all, I don’t want to harm you or your health.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with his other hand, running his checklist through his head. “I guess now is the time to stop if you’ve changed your mind. I know this isn’t going to be easy, so no hard feelings if this is too much.”

 _I know you're still afraid to rush into anything_  
_But there're just so many summers_  
_And just so many springs_

Natasha had kept holding his hand as he spoke. She rubbed her thumb across the back of his hand, easing some of his fears and self-doubts.  “I don’t scare off that easily, Bruce.” Nat smiled at the relief and then the excitement that played across his face.

“You’re really sure you want this? I’m not an easy person to love. My track record sucks.”

“As a matter of fact, I like a challenge because I know you’re worth it.” She rolled closer and pushed him onto his back, so she could kiss him. Bruce reached around her and pulled them closer. When they finally broke she asked, “Is it safe to assume you have condoms here, or do I need to go rustle some up?”

Bruce looked past her shoulder. “They’re in the drawer of the nightstand.” He started to move, but she stopped him and retrieved the packet herself.

“You’re as prepared as a Boy Scout, Doc. I believe these will do nicely,” Nat said as she lay back down next to him and looked the packet over. “How about we see what else we have to work with here,” Natasha suggested with a coy smile and snapped the elastic waistband on his sweatpants with her finger.  

“Okay,” he said as he smiled sheepishly. “You showed me yours, so my turn.” Bruce pulled into a crunch position and slipped out of the Stark Industries sweats and his boxers. He roughly folded them and tossed them in the direction of the clothes hamper, but his eyes never left her face.

Natasha knew he wore boxers and that they would be blue because those were all she ever saw him change into after a transformation. After all, she was usually the one handing them to him from his duffle bag after putting the Hulk to rest. She also knew he was currently watching her for her reaction as she perused his naked body. Natasha knew Bruce had nothing to be ashamed of; hell, she’d seen him naked after every “Code Green” until Tony and he had perfected the stretchy pants. What she hadn’t anticipated was being surprised as she checked out his equipment. “I guess you have more in common with the Big Guy than I realized,” she smirked.

He chuckled as he turned toward her on his side. “It helps when I’m not waking up covered in pulverized concrete and mostly naked in a snowbank.”

“It certainly does,” Natasha agreed. “My turn then.” She slipped her pants down over her hips and smoothly removed them. He took the clothing from her and gave it a toss toward the hamper before he leaned in for a kiss. She met his lips and rolled him onto his back again. “May I?” she whispered huskily and reached down to touch his awakening cock.

“Please do,” he sighed, and she palmed him, coaxing his soft erection to stiffen and swell to its full size. “Oh, yes. Don’t stop!” Bruce encouraged her as she encircled his shaft with her fingers and began to stroke him. He couldn’t help but squirm and thrust into her hand. “Oh, Nat, you might want to put on that condom.”

“Stay right where you are.” Natasha crawled over him, which was more enjoyable for him than it sounded because she ended up laying across his torso once she had the packet in hand. “We’re going to take our time,” she assured him. She shifted lower and started to go down on him, but he stopped her.

“I would love to feel your lips on me, but not without protection.” She gave him a disappointed look. “Saliva and perspiration are safe all the time. Blood and seman are not. It’s a little like a disease or an infection in that respect. It’s not worth poisoning you.” Talk about a buzzkill.

“Got it,” Natasha said. “That makes sense. Not a problem, Doc.” She was disappointed, but it was nothing she couldn’t work around. “Ready for the raincoat?”

“Yeah, you could say that,” he replied with a nervous laugh.

Nat gave him a few more firm strokes then tore open the foil packet and took out the condom. She carefully unrolled it down his length. She thought to herself it was a good thing this brand came in custom sizes because, unlike a lot of males, Bruce hadn’t overestimated himself. “All set,” she told him. “How do you want to do this, Doc?”

“You should have as much control as possible, at least until we get used to this,” he suggested. “Maybe you should be on top?”

“Good call.” They rearranged things so he was propped at a slight angle against the head of the bed with some pillows, and she could grab the headboard. Natasha swung her leg over his hips and smiled down at him. Yes, she’d imagined doing this and a lot more with him for months now. He’d scared her at first, which was something that was hard to do, but more importantly, he challenged her and called her out on her manipulations. He was honest and as straightforward with her as he could be, and she wanted to respond in kind.

“How are you doing?” Bruce asked as he stroked her thighs and looked up at her, loving every detail of her his senses could take in.

“I’m okay,” Natasha said as she enjoyed the feel of his hands on her. She hadn’t imagined it last night, he definitely ran a bit warmer than most as he said.

“Let’s see if I can make you feel a little more than just ‘okay.’ I may not be able to receive, but I do like to give.” Bruce guided her higher up on his torso and slipped his left shoulder lower, so he could lean up and reach her thighs and labia with his mouth. “Sorry, I’ve not shaved, so you’ll need to tell me if it’s uncomfortable.” He ran his right hand over her mound with its silky red-gold triangle of hair as he checked for dampness and to gauge her response. She moved against his hand, enjoying his attentions, so he parted her folds with his fingers and kissed her deeply, using his lips and tongue. He paused before going deeper, “You’re already wet for me. That is so fucking hot!”

Natasha gasped, caught a little aback at how intensely pleasurable it felt to have him use his mouth like this on her. “Oh, yes! That’s it.” Natasha grabbed the headboard to steady herself with her left hand. Bruce licked at her clitoris, flicking lightly to gauge her response, and she reached down and twisted her fingers in his hair. “Don’t stop!”

He wasn’t about to quit ’til he brought her off. In a few moments, she twitched and jerked, her thighs starting to tremble, but he held her steady with his left hand, fingers digging into her shapely ass, and he pressed into her with his mouth. Bruce used one then two fingers to penetrate deeper, angling high and forward, until he hit the right spot to bear down with some pressure.

“Вот дерьмо!”She arched her back and he could feel her tighten up around his fingers. “Oh, yes!” He finally leaned back to watch her and removed his hand. “That felt so good, Bruce.”

Bruce wiped his mouth on his arm. “Glad you liked it.”

“Where have you been?” Natasha sighed. She thought back to their dance on the catwalk at the party and before that. In fact, she’d had a suspicion he would make a good lover going back to the first time she’d observed him. He didn’t do things halfway. There had been sparks when they first interacted in Kolkata, but he was never unkind and treated people well whether or not he thought anyone else would notice. His prickliness wasn’t misanthropic, it was to keep everyone else at a distance so they’d be safe from him. 

 _I had a good life_  
_Before you came_  
_I had my friends and my freedom_  
_I had my name_  
_Still there was sorrow and emptiness_  
_'Til you made me glad_  
_Oh, in this love I found strength I never knew I had_

Bruce gnawed at his lower lip, knowing he was blushing almost as deeply as the rosy afterglow on her skin. “Not so far away really, Natasha. Right here with you.”

**Part 11**

Nat scooted back toward his hips and adjusted, so she could bend down and kiss him. It was so nice just to touch skin against skin. He tasted and smelled of her as well as himself. “I want you, Bruce,” she whispered in his ear and slipped down to lick at his right nipple, flicking it like he had her clit. He inhaled sharply and then moaned as she sucked at the other. Her right hand slipped down to his cock and stroked him to make sure he was ready.

“I want you, too, Nat,” he said in a ragged voice as she lined up with his hips. Bruce loved the feel of her as she rubbed against his body. “Oh, yes. Touching is wonderful,” he sighed. He wanted her to have control just in case, but it was impossible not to move as she lowered her hips onto him and he eased his shaft into her. He brought his knees up behind her for more stability and reached up to fondle her pale breasts. “You’re such a nice handful,” he observed and gently palmed them, teasing the nipples to stimulate them.

“You are certainly more than a ‘handful’ yourself,” she told him as she tentatively flexed her thighs and slid up and down on his shaft. “Are we good?” she checked.

“Yes, keep going.” He soon shifted his hands down to her hips and moved with her as she rode him. The bed was firm, but there was still plenty of bounce to work with. “Oh, yes! Yes!” Natasha was so beautiful he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, even while she was monitoring him. “You are so beautiful, Nat.” She soon had him close to coming as she accelerated the pace. “Almost there!” he groaned.

“Come for me, Bruce!” she told him. “It’s okay to let go now!”

He slipped a hand down and ran his thumb across her nub, “You, too.” He groaned and held his breath as he willed himself over the threshold. The release felt so good and he stayed with her as she tightened up, and he thrust into her, his thumb rapidly moving against her clit.

“Oh, fuck!” Natasha cried as she came. This time he watched as her nipples tightened and the blush spread rapidly across her creamy skin.

“God, you’re so beautiful, Nat.” He could feel the endorphins washing over him like a calming high. The echoes of her orgasm were rapturous, milking his cock for just a little more.

She smiled down on him and bent low to kiss him. “Worth the wait?”

He grinned and kissed her. “Yes, but honestly, you’re right, I wish we’d done this sooner.”

 _And this love_  
_Is like nothing I have ever known_  
_Take my hand, Love_  
_I'm taking you home_

Natasha chuckled and rolled off beside Bruce on his right. “I guess sometimes you have to wait for the stars to line up.”

He took a moment to remove the condom and carefully cleaned up. “Well, we are still mostly just human, but that’s probably the best parts of us.” They curled up together and let the weekend take its course.

**Part 12**

_There were days, lonely days_  
_When the world wouldn't throw me a crumb_  
_But I kept on believing_  
_That this day would come_

Nat and Bruce hadn't moved far from the bed the whole rainy weekend. She’d let down her guard and so had he. They'd spent the entire time just enjoying each other and each other's company, finding out how much they had in common. He’d made good on the second and third breakfast in bed and a lot more.

Bruce and Natasha were curled together with her head on top of his chest early Sunday with her leg thrown over his when his phone beeped. He was too content to move and slowly drifted back to sleep, listening to another line of storms move through outside.

Bruce awoke later when Natasha called his name. “Hmm? What's wrong?” he asked sleepily.

“Tony's home, and I don't care if he knows about us, but I didn't want to presume…,” Natasha trailed off.

Bruce rolled her over on her back and kissed her. “I'm indescribably proud to be with you. Tony can write it in the sky if he wants.” They both knew Tony just might do it, too.

Her green eyes twinkling, Natasha smiled at Bruce and ran her fingers through his disheveled dark curls, “I think that may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“I'm going to have to step up my game then.” He rubbed his nose gently against hers before kissing her again. Neither of them were in a hurry for the weekend to end.

 _And this love_  
_Is like nothing I have ever known_  
_Take my hand, Love_  
_I'm taking you home_  
_Where we can be with the ones who really care_  
_Home, where we can grow together_  
_Keep you in my heart forever_

Tony hardly knocked before tapping the code out and letting himself into the apartment as was his habit. “Oh, Dr. Banner?” he called dramatically. “JARVIS said you haven't left your apartment for the entire weekend, but Natasha's been in the Tower, too. She's not that scary,” Tony said, walking through the apartment and to the bedroom when he didn't see Bruce anywhere else. “Bruce? Are you . . . okay?? You don’t get sick. Uhmm . . . oh . . . !” The look on his face when he saw them would have been worth a picture, but they were a little too preoccupied to care. Tony cleared his throat when they ignored him. “Well, now I see why you didn't leave your apartment.”

Bruce looked up from kissing Natasha, “Good morning, Tony. Did you and Pepper have a good time in Malibu?”

“Yes, actually. Um,” Tony paused and licked his lips, “when did _this_ happen?” he asked as he gestured toward them awkwardly.

“When did what happen,” the redhead replied, not letting him off the hook.

“You two. Together.” Tony's brow furrowed. He was obviously troubled that he hadn’t put the clues in order first. Now that he thought about it, however, the two of them gravitating to each other made a lot of sense. Pepper had said as much after the last party. Shit, she certainly was perceptive! Well, Tony had to admit it, this was actually pretty damn wonderful for both of his friends. In the few seconds it took for the engineer to realign his perceptions, the confusion on his face quickly melted into genuine pleasure.

“Why does it matter?” Bruce asked nuzzling into Natasha's neck and making her giggle.

“Don't get me wrong, I'm doing all kinds of happy acrobatics on the inside from giddiness. I was just wondering if I missed a bunch of things or the right spell was cast?”

Bruce looked down at Natasha who was smiling up at him, “Maybe a little of both?” He kissed the tip of her nose.

“I think it was the music,” she said with a sly grin and nipped at his chin.

Tony clapped his hands together, “Okaaay, I'm going to leave the two of you alone. Bruce, I'll have JARVIS compile all the notes I have that are relevant for you while I’m minding my own business in the lab.”

“Thanks, Tony. I’ll see you at 9:00 am tomorrow,” Bruce told him and went back to kissing Natasha.

“Make that 10:00 am,” Nat added. “We’re going to be up late and maybe early, too.”

Tony gave them a skeptical look as he left. “Nah, make it 11:00 am. You’re both still just human.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this. We tried something new with the song lyrics. We'd love to hear from you. Please let us know what you liked or want to know more about!


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